Here at Jeans and Sheuxsss, no ten days are ever the same. For example, between Friday 14 and Sunday 23 February this year, I ate the following for lunch:
14/02 – scrambled eggs on toast plus two pints of Guiness.
15/02 – Brie, Parmesan, Camembert, Port Salut, Cheddar, Feta, Wensleydale and Stilton baguette with salad cream, salt and pepper.
16/02 – scrambled eggs on toast and a glass of water.
17/02 – roast lamb with poached eggs, French fries and a bottle of fizz.
18/02 – scrambled eggs on toast plus four glasses of elderflower juice.
19/02 – seven fried eggs on toast.
20/02 – luncheon meat salad and two pints of Lucozade Sport.
21/02 – chicken, turkey, mutton, liver and okra soup with a glass of milk.
22/02 – pate and 750g of Jacob’s Cream Crackers.
23/02 – Swordfish followed by fresh oysters and 3 Raisin & Biscuit Yorkie bars. And a glass of water.
It wasn’t easy recollecting that, but it does bring me on nicely to an email I received from China a fortnight ago:
Very glad to send email to you, I’m Jim. I have learned your company from internet which shows you are interest in purchasing garment.
First I’d like to introduce our company, which is one of the garment manufacturers in China, mainly produce jacket, pants, skirts, kids jeans garment. We would like to supply good quality products and satisfy every customer’s needs. We approach you today in the hope of establishing long business relations with you and expect, by our joint effects, to enlarge our business scope. It will be great pleasure to receive your inquiries for any of the items against which we will send you our competitive price with high quality.
Your prompt reply will be highly appreciated
Thanks & best regards
After reading this email it struck me there are probably 150,000,000 J&S wearers in China. I have therefore decided to move my offices and outsource all Jeans and Sheuxsss call centres to several districts throughout the mountainous regions of Xinjiang, Shandong and Chongqing. Now that I’ve mentioned my future business plans I can finally talk about today’s combo.
Today’s combo is rather exquisite. Black jeans and faux leather black sheuxsss with dust effect sheen. The sheuxsss were probably bought in either Shoe Zone or [redacted] and because they don’t have any laces can be slipped on easily. This means they erode quite fast which in turn creates a naturally distressed look. Please note: I use distressed in the honest sense of the word and will not be affiliated with companies producing ‘distressed look jeans’ for exorbitantly high profit margins. Manz knows I’m not down with that type of foolishness. Getme.